By Christopher Green
It seems that over the weekend I really over did it. My niece graduated from Case Western Reserve Law School and I really pushed myself to be as much a part of her big day as she has been such a part of my life for many, many years. I still missed more than half of the celebration.
You see when she came to visit me in the hospital back in 2004 when I was pumped full of morphine and tranquilizers and remembered little else, I remember her. She was very brave to come into a room to see someone she was just getting use to in such an awful state.
They tell me I tried to grab her boob, but I don’t remember any of that. And J has never once mentioned it to me although my brother-in-law and sister have mentioned it from time to time to get an easy laugh.
I am very proud of her.
J’s graduation celebration is yet another piece of my life taken from me by my illness. Over the last ten or fifteen and probably twenty years, if I really think about it, little bits and pieces of what should have been a full life are gone never to be experienced.
I missed concerts, celebrations, funerals and just plain get togethers because I lacked the energy to make even a token appearance.
Some people complain that they are no more than a witnesses to life that they are or were never really in the game. I never really thought about it until this weekend. But if there ever was more of a reason to get that transplant as soon as possible, I cannot think of one.
I really just want to get back into the game. I am sick and tired of being a bench warmer. I am getting older and there is so much more that I want to do, to enjoy.
I cannot think of anything more important in my life right now than to be there for my other nieces wedding next summer without being tethered to an O2 tank. I want to dance with her, if she will let me, dance just to celebrate life.